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Eli Zapata

Love Shouldn't Hurt: Addressing Domestic Violence in Teen Relationships

Updated: Nov 2, 2024

In the United States, 1 in 3 teens will experience abuse from someone they’re in a relationship with before they become adults. Domestic violence is much more common than we might think and is likely affecting students on our campus. Therefore, it is important to address and bring awareness to the different types of domestic abuse, what they may look like in teen relationships, and resources to help those struggling with intimate partner violence.


Types of Domestic Abuse

Domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence) is often portrayed in media through physical violence, however, there are three main types of domestic abuse: physical, verbal/emotional, and sexual. But what does each type look like?


Physical Abuse

Unfortunately, physical violence is seen and experienced in many domestic violence cases. Physical abuse is any act that is made to intentionally cause injury, trauma, or pain to a victim's body. Some examples of physical abuse are:

  • Restraining

  • Throwing objects

  • Grabbing, shoving, biting, kicking

  • Maiming (wounding) 

  • Sleep and food deprivation

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over 10 million people each year experience physical abuse from a significant other. 


Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Sometimes referred to under the umbrella term “psychological abuse”, verbal and emotional abuse can go unnoticed because people may see it as normal arguing between two people. However, according to the National Institute of Health (NIH), 51.8% to 63.4% of people worldwide have experienced non-physical abuse. Verbal/emotional abuse can be words or behaviors that are used to maintain power and control over another person. Psychological abuse can look like:

  • Silent treatment

  • Humiliation and ridicule (in public and private or digital environments)

  • Insults

  • Monitoring messages and interactions

  • Controlling how you present yourself

  • Preventing you from visiting friends and family

  • Threatening to leave you

  • Breaking belongings

Psychological abuse, like other forms of abuse, is a means of using fear to isolate or control someone. Emotional abuse may seem less threatening than physical violence, but over time, these behaviors can wear down a person’s self-worth and mental resilience. 


Sexual Abuse

In 2022, up to 19% of teens experienced sexual abuse in their relationships according to the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. Teens are more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone they know than by a stranger. 

Some examples of sexual abuse are:

  • Making you feel guilty for not wanting to do anything

  • Forcing you to have sex without consent

  • Unwanted touching

  • Threatening to hurt you

  • Threatening blackmail, (sharing explicit photos, etc.)

  • No consent (an agreement between two people to engage in sexual activities)

Sexual abuse can be any sexual behavior that is unwanted/forced onto a person. Pressuring someone to commit sexual acts is also considered sexual abuse. 


Help is Available

According to the CDC, “About 2 in 5 women and 1 in 4 men in the United States experienced sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner”. Life for someone experiencing abuse can feel unpredictable. If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence or stalking, there are resources available both online and on our campus. 


Resources at Patriot High School

It is important to reach out for help and support if you are in an abusive relationship to ensure your safety and well-being. 

  • Talk to a trusted teacher, guidance counselor, or staff member about your situation

  • Schedule a meeting with a Peer Specialist or counselor


Online Resources

All of these resources are available 24/7.

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