So often as teens, we fear being rejected, especially in high school. We don’t want to create a certain reputation for ourselves, or have people judge us or look at us a certain way. This generation is often scared to show others kindness due to the possibility that it will not be reciprocated. We hope not to embarrass ourselves or go through an awkward experience.
The reality is that it is within those experiences that we grow as individuals. There is a wealth of evidence that shows through acts of kindness and through practicing showing sincerity, our bodies release Oxytocin, a stress relieving hormone, that has been shown to decrease anxiety and have positive effects on social behavior. If kindness is what it takes to decrease anxiety and stress levels, then we have nothing to lose. Furthermore, showing kindness, paying honest compliments, and helping others can “grow your circle” with meaningful friendships.
It has definitely been a common theme to struggle to socialize with others you don’t know, especially after being isolated for an entire year in 2020-2021. However, your next friend may be the person you least expect it to be. For example, Viviana and I sat at the same table (through assigned seating) in 9th grade English class. We did not know each other, but we decided to reach out to one another, instead of staying isolated, and through that we have continued to grow our friendship.
Growing your circle of relationships can also mean in a romantic way. People often fail to see and/or downplay the importance of teenage love, but I think in doing so, it overlooks the lessons that we can learn from it. It can teach us what we do and don’t like in relationships. It can teach us if that daily good morning text makes you feel cared for or suffocated. It can teach us how we like to receive and reciprocate love behaviors. These lessons and experiences are important for the future because of what we take away from it. The longevity of a relationship is unimportant because whether it lasts two weeks or two years, you can walk away from it with the experience of what went wrong, what went right, and why. Knowing what you want in a partner becomes devastatingly important after high school when it comes time to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. At that, some are very lucky to find that partner within our halls.
As Valentine’s Day came and went in one day, we are reminded that it is one of the most widely celebrated holidays globally. Dating back thousands of years, it has evolved, but maintains the same concept: celebrating loved ones. Whether that means friends, family, or your significant other, it is a day to show love and spread appreciation. While this is a popular idea, Journalism members Madison McGarvey (11) and Viviana Marroquin (11) wanted to dig deeper. They had the privilege of interviewing some of PHS couples, and got insights on how they celebrate each other, without the need of a special occasion.
Upperclassmen couple Valerie Orta (11) and Zemanuel Lopez (12) shared how they met each other and how through their relationship, they have grown individually. When asked how they have grown individually, Valerie said “I am more productive”, and Zemanuel shared “I am more confident, and more open”. Using traits they see in each other that they value allows them to develop similar traits in themselves. Zemanuel shared that before they had met, he was less open with his emotions and feelings, however, through meeting Valerie and developing a strong bond with her, he was able to develop trust leading to practice more vulnerability. They were also asked about their favorite characteristic in each other, to which Zemanuel said “How kind she is with others, and her smile”. He then shared how seeing her smile brightens his day, and everyone else’s day. Valerie answered “He is funny, but not intentionally”. She went on to discuss and elaborate on how him being unintentionally funny makes it more genuine and humorous as it is unexpected. To them, Valentine’s Day is not very important in their relationship, as they value acknowledging each other everyday, instead of just one day. To do this, Valerie shared that Zemanuel often writes her letters. To reciprocate this, Zemanuel said that she attends his track meets when she can and she often helps him with his school assignments. Meeting each other and building a strong relationship has led to trust and personal growth for both Valerie and Zemanuel.
We next spoke to Journalism Club’s very own Valeria Sandate and Wyatt Kjenstad. They share many of the same sentiments as our first couple. Having known each other and been in a relationship for the last three years, they have grown together with each other’s support. Wyatt shared that he feels motivated to improve himself as a person for himself and for Valeria and similarly, Valeria works harder in school because of Wyatt’s influence. They both feel similar feelings towards the day of Valentine’s Day as Valerie and Zemanuel, where they find the holiday “cute”, but is not ultimately that important to their relationship.
Talking to these couples was very interesting because more times than not, people are very closed off on our campus about relationships. However, we found that once we started asking people about their relationship, people’s faces lit up at the opportunity to talk about their person, their relationship, and their goals. We felt they were very open to our questions, answering them with an unexpected profundity.
So, whether you celebrated this past Valentine’s Day or not, it is not important. What’s important is that you find people to connect with, people you can talk to, and friends you can practice trust and kindness with. Combating isolation happens by growing your circle. It is necessary for human beings to share and connect and experience life together. So put yourself out there, be kind, give a compliment, say “hi”, and give an honest smile. You never know who may become a great friend.
Comments