Certain causes take center stage more easily than others. This year, Breast Cancer Awareness Month (observed nationally every October) feels more personal to our campus.
On October 18th, Ms. Monville announced to our Warrior Staff that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. As she starts chemotherapy treatment in a couple of weeks, she will need to be out of the classroom for the next six months. I sat down with Ms. Monville for an intimate conversation (personal communication, October 30, 2024).
Why is Breast Cancer Awareness Important?
According to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, the median age for breast cancer diagnosis is 62 – it’s considered rare for women to be diagnosed before the age of 45. However, while an early diagnosis may be rare, “it’s the most common cancer among women ages 15 to 39.”
One of the main reasons we observe Breast Cancer Awareness Month is to raise awareness in order to increase the chances of early detection. Although breast cancer is often linked to older women, men assigned at birth can also be diagnosed, with about 1 in 803 affected. Women under 45 account for just 11% of breast cancer diagnoses, but those who are diagnosed are more likely to have aggressive forms of cancer. There are no known ways to prevent breast cancer, however, “early detection can significantly reduce both morbidity and mortality,” according to the National Institute of Health.
Breast Cancer Awareness at Patriot High School
As I walked down the hallway of the upstairs B building, I could hear a boisterous and energetic voice coming through one of the last rooms. It led me to Room B211 where Ms. Monville’s math classes take place. She had a colleague in her room, Mr. Saenz, who was finding refuge in her classroom to get work done. I was there to ask a simple question, but what transpired in the next 30 minutes was a deep and connecting conversation between people who have all been touched by breast cancer.
Changes are Coming
While conversations about difficult subject matters can be challenging, Ms. Monville has an ease to her which draws you in and normalizes difficult questions. Due to the treatment protocol and the “cocktail” dose she will be receiving, Ms. Monville’s medical team told her to plan to not come back to work this year. When I asked her how she felt about it, she declared, “I was pissed! I asked if I could do chemo and still teach!” She told us that she’s a social being who wants to be around people, and not being with her students and co-workers will be the toughest part.
“I was pissed! I asked if I could do chemo and still teach!” - Ms. Monville
More Than What People See
As we continued to talk, the conversation turned to sharing experiences of loved ones who have been touched by cancer. Ms. Monville shared a defining moment in her life as a young 7th grader, when she learned of her own mother’s diagnosis with cancer. She connected this experience with her own children being in 7th and 9th grade currently. She recalls neighbors stepping in to take care of her while her mother dealt with treatment and speaks of this period as a time of much uncertainty.
We reflect on how our past experiences prepare us for future challenges – whether we know it or not at the time. I’m also reminded that through our personal challenges, we are all more than what people see. We are not "just' staff or students, but partners, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, etc. and whether we choose to share our challenges or keep them close to our hearts, it is a part of us that needs a delicate and supportive space.
What’s Next for Ms. Monville?
Just last weekend, after learning of her diagnosis, she wanted to keep a line of normalcy and keep doing the things she loves do. Ms. Monville decided to take a weekend driving trip to Sequoia/Kings Canyon National Park to get some outdoor adventure in with her family knowing that chemo is around the corner. She was also happy to have taken a driving trip to Alaska with her family this summer before knowing of her diagnosis. Her passion for adventure is evident, as she highly recommends getting to Alaska in this manner rather than on a cruise (something I plan to take her advice on).
One change that is inevitable for her is giving away some responsibilities as she focuses on her health. She has become a high-ranking member of the Boy Scouts leadership team, the organization her boys are part of, and will miss those responsibilities.
It is at this moment that she mentions going to “chemo class”. She explains that in this class, they explained things like cutting your hair short so that it is easier to deal with losing your hair. She explains, “The psychological effect of seeing globs of hair in your hand as it falls out is tough. Cutting your hair short makes this part of chemo treatment easier.” She tells us that the class was helpful in knowing the effects of chemotherapy ahead of time and having things in the home to help make these effects better. I can’t help but ask her if she’s a wig or no wig kind of girl, which I got an absolute resounding, “No wigs! I will wear scarves and hats.”
The Importance of Support Systems
When I asked about her support systems, she told me proudly that she feels extremely grateful for the medical team around her and the kind of care she is receiving. It was important for her to fight for a doctor that she felt comfortable with who answered all of her questions and concerns.
Her at-home support relies heavily on her wife Missy, of many years, her two children, her Boy Scout Organization, who are family to her, and her baseball family of friends. She feels equally grateful for her PHS family. She wrote to me in an email, “The support has been wonderful, we really do have an amazing staff. I am so thankful for our admin, colleagues, and my students.”
As I walk away down the same hallway, I feel inspired by Ms. Monville; her joyous and feisty Warrior spirit is evident in every word she speaks. In her email to our staff, her last sentence resonates loud and clear to all of us,
“Gotta go kick cancer down and then I will be back with all of you. Go Warriors!” - Ms. Monville
What Can We Do for Someone Dealing with Cancer?
It’s important to remember that while someone might spend much of their time and energy fighting cancer, it’s not the only thing in their life. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about their struggles – even if you aren’t sure what to say at first. Here are some other simple ways we can all be supportive of someone battling cancer:
Use questions to support them. Asking questions like, “How can I help you today?” and “What do you need or feel right now?” can help give back control and put aside assumptions of what they “need”, no matter how good the intentions are.
Show love in any way you are able to. A small note, an email, a smile, or a delicate hug might be just what they need as they deal with being tired, nauseous, scared, anxious or frustrated.
Offer to run errands and do chores around the house. The physical and emotional toll of seeking treatment for cancer will weigh heavily on someone – doing small tasks around the house will help lessen the burden.
Show up and be present. Whether they want to talk about it or not, the simple fact that you are there provides comfort. Make yourself available.
If you or someone you love are fighting cancer, reach out to the support systems we have in place here on campus. Talk to a trusted teacher or friend for support or find support programs and services in your area. Find resources for patients, survivors, and caregivers at livestrong.org/resources/. Or find more information on being a good friend to someone with cancer.
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